On turning fifty…
At some point you lose, sight of the fight,
get confused and forget,
when you look back over your life,
just what you were fighting for?
by that time your mind is set,
and you refuse to fight anymore.
Passenger of my own doubt,
driver of my own fear,
no stranger to pain,
and troubles, I’ve had my share,
I’ve called on the Lord,
but never in vain,
and entertained angels unaware.
At age fourteen, I had a dream,
about how life should be,
by twenty-one I’d finish school,
not be a fool, and be married by twenty-three,
by twenty-four I’d have a child,
who’d look exactly like me.
Instead, I stayed in bed too long, or on the run,
’cause that dream escapes me,
I found myself at forty-one,
no daughter nor son, waking up alone,
still unmarried at fifty, single to the bone,
but feeling rather nifty!
I no longer believe in fairy tales,
nor do tears replace the laughter,
I realize the time I’ve wasted,
not reading between the lines,
and as I close another chapter,
I no longer seek for truth in signs,
nor for lies, of happily-ever-after.
~victori Oct 1, 2012